Krazy for Kibble

Kibble is one of my most favorite things. The indescribable smell, the feel of those little crunchy bits on my tongue, and of course the yummy taste. I didn't really used to like eating my kibble. When my mommies fed me in a bowl, I used to just stand there over the bowl and cry. The kibble was just so boring. The least my mommies could do was stand there and watch me eat it to make it more exciting for me. So I would cry until they watched me. I guess they caught on to what I was doing and decided to buy me this cool orange ball. They put my kibble in this ball and I get to chase it around trying to get the tasty morsels out and into my belly.


Look how adept I am at this game




It helps the kibble to get into your belly faster if you already have your tongue sticking out.



Pug verses orange ball. Pug wins every time.

Fashion Scents

One thing I definitely inherited from my Mommy is my impeccable taste and fashion sense. I've also perfected my style by studying the masters like Tim Gunn and Christian Siriano (more on my idols later). As you'll see, my brother clearly has not studied enough.


Cheetah getting ready for a spin on his Harley. Or to do a weird science experiment.


Chee is so sportly. He's always ready to go for a jog or hit the ball around.


You have to be pretty awesome (like myself) to be able to pull this look off.


Getting ready to brave the cold NYC winter. You can be stylin' and comfortable too.

I love eggplant!

Not only is eggplant good for you; it's delicious!

Eggplant, or aubergine to our friends in the UK.

I Love Cheez Its

I haven't always lived the lush lifestyle that I do now. When I was a little Pug, my mommy lived with me in a studio apartment in New York City. Although, we were not the only ones who lived there. My mommy had a roommate. Lovely girl, although she was afraid of dogs. And because of this, my mommy had to confine me to one side of the apartment. I didn't really like having my freedom limited. I tried to convince our roommate that I was not just any dog by showing her my cute under bite. How could I possibly bite anyone with these tiny teeth?

These teeth don't bite

After awhile I gave up trying to win her heart. I instead began to use the fact that she was scared of me to my advantage. I would stand on the top of the sofa and just stare at her with my big crazy eyes.

Crazy Eyes

Sometimes I would cry nonstop when my mommy wasn't there. Our roommate wasn't sure what I was about to do next so she starting throwing Cheez Its at me from across the room. Score! I figured out that all I had to do every time Mommy left was cry and act crazy and I would get people food! Best part was that Mommy never knew what was going on because I ate all the Cheez Its before she got home. That was until one day when I got sloppy. Well actually, I got a belly ache from too many crackers and couldn't eat anymore. I left a few on the ground and Mommy saw them when she got home. For some reason from that point on, I didn't get anymore of those yummy, salty, cheesy squares. I still dream about the day I will be reunited with these tasty treats.

Cheez Its where are you?

This is what happens...

This is what happens when I am disobeyed.

Mr. Ribbits disobeyed a direct order. I couldn't let it go unpunished. I had to make an example of him. All of my other minions would have thought me weak. Constant vigilance is required to stay on top.


Don't let this be you. Do what I say and we'll get along great.

Love Don't Cost a Thing (Simon Edit)

Here's my all time favorite song. It's kinda like my personal mission statement.

Love Don't Cost a Thing (Simon Edit)

Think you gotta keep me iced
You do
Think I'm gonna spend your cash
I will
Even if you're loaded
My love costs everything
Think I want a diamond collar
I do
If I want a toy
You'll buy me one
Even if you're loaded
My love cost everything

When you rolled up in the Escalade
Saw that truck you gave the valet
Knew that it was game when you looked at me
Pulling back your fur so I could see the rolley bling
Saw you later in the dog park
Raising up a leg so I would notice you
But your hearts a mess
Think you oughta know
All that matters is you're balling out of control

All that matters is
That you treat me right
Give me all the things I need
That money can buy yeah

Think you gotta keep me iced
You do
Think I'm gonna spend your cash
I will
Even if you're loaded
My love costs everything
Think I want a diamond collar
I do
If I want a toy
You'll buy me one
Even if you're loaded
My love cost everything

When I took a chance
Thought you'd understand
Baby credit cards are romance
So you're tryna buy what's already yours
What I need is only available in stores
Seen the size of your wallet that I really feel
Doing way too much, never keep it real
If it does change, gotta hit the road
Now I'm leaving, where's my leash?
I've got to go

All that matters is
That you treat me right
Give me all the things I need
That money can buy yeah

You think the time you take
Can substitute the money that you make
Give me the keys to your house
Then you can win my heart, and get what's in my heart
I think you need to spend some bread
To show me that your love is true
I see only dollar signs in you
Then you can win my heart, and get what's in my heart

All that matters is
That you treat me right
Give me all the things I need
That money can buy yeah

My Posse

Let me formally introduce you to my peeps, otherwise known as my posse.

First, my brother from another mother; Cheetah Robert.
Also called Chee, Cheetah Bob or even ChiChi. He's my right paw dawg. I never have to worry with Chee around because I know he's always got my six.

My first cousin Razmataz.

Raz is a fierce ally in a small package. Don't cross her, because she'll pop you.

And lastly, my other cousin and Raz's sister, Casey.

Be extremely careful around Casey; she can be radically unpredictable.

Patience

They say patience is a virtue, but I disagree. Patience is not required. I find that the less patience I have; the more I get, and the faster I get it.

For example, my momma wants me to sit and wait, patiently (her words) for her to get me my food. I have found through years of scientific study that running around, utilizing high pitched sounds, and appearing generally agitated significantly decreases the time between my request for food and receipt of said food.

I am so tired of hearing the words sit and wait. I have to sit for my food, sit in the elevator, sit for my treat. So, I sit. My mommies think that I'm being an obedient little son, however I just do what they say so they stop talking. My brother usually does whatever they say right away to try to make me look bad. But, just when they think he's the prodigal son, I give them my cutest, saddest, most quizzical looking Pug face and I'm back as number one.

Copy Cats (or Dogs?)

It has taken me a lot of hard work and constant vigilance to get to where I am today. Not the least of which is tracking down and eradicating my opponents. Normally, I have the help of my posse (more later on the who's who of my posse); but today I am asking for your help.

Here are a few pictures of some Simon look-a-likes that are currently on the loose.
Some are pretty convincing; others not so much.

Watch out for this one; currently the most dangerous out there.

Keep your distance with these two. They could explode at any moment.

Where did he get that mug? Nice try; but that's not real Pennsylvania Dutch.


Pete and Repeat. They will confuse you with their baffling double talk.

Don't be fooled! There is only ONE Simon the Pug!
Contact the proper authorities immediately if you see any of these illegitimate pugs in your neighborhood. Do not approach or engage with these dangerous falsifiers.

From the Beginning.....

This may be my first blog posting but I am no stranger to fame. Simon look-a-likes are everywhere. Ever seen Men in Black? Everyone wants to be like me. But there is only one me, so that's why I decided to write a blog. I need to set the record straight and let everyone know who the real Simon is.

It has taken me eight long years to become the all-knowing, dapper being that you see today. I was once a little ball of wrinkles that fit into my mommy's hand.

I met my mommy when I was only 9 weeks old in New York City. She had no idea what to do with a crazy little Pug like me. I taught her very well. She learned how to feed me people food when I cried. She let me sleep in her bed under the covers with her when I cried. I even taught her how to take me everywhere with her. If she didn't, I would chew up all her stuff. She was a great student. Mommy likes to think that over the past 8 years, she has become more strict with me. However, I know that I still have her wrapped around my little paw.